Advise

So I’m locked into a lease for the next year or so and I’m in college. My mom’s boyfriend is paying for my rent and my education that isn’t covered by scholarships. That being said, it’s looking somewhat bleak. I have fried my chicken so to speak and have noticed a serious dip in my cognitive function upon drug use and delving into spiritual clinging (high magick I didn’t fully commit to). And so I need to remain here at least for the next year and I wonder if the right thing to do is to pay attention to my future in this grid that suffocates me and somehow I feel tethered to because of how much it provides. I don’t know if I have what it takes to make it out in a way that I can afford. I have nieces that I don’t want to traumatize and worry about the effect my depression might have on road travel and don’t want to come crawling back to a somewhat judgmental if loving to the best of their ability family. I don’t know if I will have the funds to pay him back so quick I want to hit the road while I’m still young. 20F