Internalized Transphobia

hey all, im almost definitely trans. i have doubts, but im basically positive. came to terms with this about a month ago.

im at a location right now with a lot of lgbt people (wearing pins so you know) and probably a lot of trans ppl.

this is the first time in a space like this since my egg cracked. i find myself trying to clock people, most of whom are probably cis. if i see someone who i even passingly think is trans i feel disgust, and im disgusted at myself.

i didn’t realize how bad my internalized transphobia is, i don’t know who taught me to be like this. but i feel overwhelming shame and frustration. I am scared of how i see others and myself, and i feel terrible about all of it.

healing it would take time, but how can i work on making those ideas less compulsive?

thanks