would you see someone as “less than” for being mentally slow?… probably, right?

ugh i usually keep to myself as far as friendships go, for this reason. i’m just very stiff, i process things slowly and, at times, i literally struggle forming coherent sentences, out of anxiety. i have a hard time following conversations, tv shows & movies & struggle to form bonds with people. well last night, i got invited to a football watch get-together & all these things showed. i found out i got invited because the girl “felt bad” for me. now overtime, throughout the night, i loosened up & they got to see the real me. i have reason to believe their impressions of me changed, at this point & they saw me less pitifully. i was joking and laughing and singing along to hamilton ( we watched hamilton) & they seemed pleasantly surprised by this development. it just sucks that it takes time for me to loosen up and feel comfortable & it’s possible, when i see them again at bible study, i might start from square one, again. stiff and whatnot. i also, obviously, don’t want people to be friends with me out of pity. i want to form real connections with people who won’t see me for my cognitive processing challenges but, who will see me for me. i like the person i am when im alone or with family & i want that to reflect through. will my “friends” always pity me or is my slowness just a quirk? can people, generally, get past it? ugh, i keep people at a distance but i don’t want to. i want to be seen as an equal but have a hard time feeling like i will be. what is your perspective? thanks