Why can’t (21f) be affectionate back to me (23m)?

We’ve been in a talking stage for 11 months now. We’ve met once a few months ago and all in all happy with how things went and are going.

Recently we spoke about some important stuff and she mentioned to me how she would draw boundaries about us being intimate and that she doesn’t know if she is comfortable saying or doing nice things for me.

I asked her what shoe does for me now and she mentioned us spending time and talking. Outside of that I’m not sure myself what she is going out of her way to do for me. I get her gifts, compliment her, surprise her with silly gestures (made a website telling her what I liked about her etc). But it isn’t reciprocated. She does tell me she likes me only when I ask and that she wants things to progress but is worried about things changing. She’s comfortable with how it is now.

I would like for her to open upto me more but she doesn’t know how. The intimacy is important for me too. I’m willing to wait ofc until she’s comfortable or take things slowly but her telling me no is a bummer. I’ve asked if it was something traumatic or such. She’s said no and it’s just her. Her friends are supposedly the same too and have their own complications each handling it in their own way.

I’m finding it hard with it feeling one sided at times and trying my best to keep things together. I do overthink a lot and she doesn’t like it so I try my best to deal with it myself and not burden her with it.

It’s her first time with all this so I understand it can be scary and worrying.

Any advice on how I can handle the situation or if I’m being unreasonable?

Post again for more answers!