INTP: I have issues with saying things that hurts others because if they would have been said to me I wouldn’t have been hurt. Anyone else struggle?

I often during small talk or bouts of interaction state facts or say things that were told to me in private (I didn’t know it was meant to be private) by others. And I think it’s all fine and good in the moment, and then when the interaction ends, my sister is telling me that I hurt their feelings. I don’t mean to hurt their feelings. Like today I was talking with my sister and her boyfriend and talking about how I don’t like masculine men, and the bf, who is not the most masculine and kinda childish, but certainly not in a bad way, makes a comment about how he’s not the most masculine and I agree with him. It’s a positive in my eyes, so I thought nothing of it. After he left, my sister said that he took it to mean that I meant wimpy and his feelings were hurt. I also have accidentally hurt people by making jokes that I think are harmless because they wouldn’t hurt me. I’ve messaged the bf to clarify what I mean but I don’t know if it made things any better. I don’t know. Does anyone relate or have advice? I’m really shaken up by this and it puts me in a very uncomfortable situation.