Advice please - Should I go back on lexapro?

I’ve had general anxiety all my life,  which I hadn’t really understood until covid and lockdowns pushed me over the edge. So, I started escitalopram in August 2020, gradually upped to 20mg.

In July 2024, I decided to try coming off them entirely, as I was feeling really good in myself.

I tapered slowly, 5mg less every 6 weeks. The initial 6 weeks were great, but then quickly worsened, whereby I was feeling anxious all day, and back to overthinking everything.

I assume/d this was due to the withdrawals, so I’ve carried on, and I’m still off them. But still feeling pretty awful every day.

I got a job promotion in September 2024, whilst I was weaning off the tablets. The job is in the same team, and it’s not really any more stressful, but I constantly now feel underqualified and have a sense of imposter syndrome. I can’t seem to motivate myself to start the training etc. that I have available to me to bring my skills up. Work seems a massive pressure, and I dread it every day. Even though no one (bosses/staff) has told me anything negative etc. I’m making progress on the new role, and in theory it’s going great.

I’ve used my employers welfare counsellors during all this time, so I have been using the CBT tools from that. But the constant general anxiety remains.

Another consideration is the time of year. I’ve always felt like I struggled with a bit of SAD, but it’s not been an issue in recent years whilst on escitalopram I don’t think.

So my question is, should I go back on escitalopram, and accept it’s probably for life, or do I wait it out until summer. To see if I settle into my job, and with the better weather/longer days.

I think I’m hoping you all say go back on the meds, as I just want to go back to how good I felt in July last year.

TL;DR – Taken escitalopram for 4 years and came off them last year. Now I’m struggling with general anxiety again. Should I go back on them?