Soldier down I Repeat soldier down !!

I M21 know this might not be the right place to share, but I need to get this off my chest. I can't do this anymore.

I used to be an excellent student, someone with potential, but life took a sharp downturn year after year. I ended up with 7/7 marks in school and graduated in B.Com (Hons.) from a subpar private college in 2024 with just 62%. Like many others, I thought doing an MBA would be my ticket to a stable, successful life. But I had no idea what I was stepping into—how demanding entrance exams are and how unprepared I really was.

I decided to take a drop year to focus on MBA entrance exams, but my mind got distracted. I couldn't stick to the plan. To make things worse, I have an elder brother and sister who have always excelled at everything—studies, careers, life. Meanwhile, I’ve been the family disappointment. My parents never fail to remind me of how much money they wasted on me. They're not wrong. I studied in one of the best schools in my city, but I’ve done nothing to justify that privilege.

In the past year, I tried my hand at various things—online businesses, gigs, cryptocurrency, trading—but none of it worked out. I even had an idea for a project for society that I truly believed in. It was something I was passionate about, something I wanted to make a reality. I pitched the idea to some people, thinking I’d found support. But instead of working towards a greater good, they only saw it as a way to make money for themselves. Without resources or power, I had to let it go.

For a while, I thought I’d take over my dad’s shop. But just as I was considering it, the business took a massive hit. My dad’s so-called friends betrayed him, and it all fell apart.

On top of it all, I went through a breakup after a year-long relationship. The person I thought would stand by me left.

I appeared for NMAT and XAT this year and screwed them both up. Now, I’m sitting here, directionless, feeling like I have no purpose, no skills, and no reason to keep going.

I don't know what to do now, i don't have any purpose in life, i don't want to run from my responsibilities but i can't face them either.