Am I overreacting?

long story as short as possible; I'm 43 year old woman. Raised by my single mother. Dad was in and out. No siblings. I am now a mother of 2, and I have gone NC with my mother about a year ago. She was an alcoholic my whole life and routinely picked men over me. One distinct memory is me waking up ( I was maybe 6) and going to my moms room. She was passed out but had a guy over. He didn't wake my mom but stuffed cigarette butts into the key hole so I couldn't see in. Or when she would change me in front of her guy friends and always comment on my body. Another time I remember trying to wake my mom up, and in the meantime I stuck my head out her bedroom window and the book that was holding the window fell on my neck. I actually passed out from crying so hard and she didn't wake up and save me until hours later. Or just leaving me all weekend alone with no idea where she was. Or when her boyfriends would inevitably leave, I remember one name John and he was always good to me. He was leaving and he said "I'm sorry Amber I love you" and she looked right at me and said "no he doesnt" I was maybe 10.

not to mention her claiming I was jealous of her when she started dating a wealthy man and that I would never be as smart as her because she has a university degree...I put myself through college.

She takes zero responsibility or claims she doesn't remember And now that she's old and doesn't have a man she expects me to be her best friend, and would call me crying all the time about how she is so lonely. The final straw was when we were talking on the phone after having an argument and I said " I do love you" she said " No you don't " and something clicked. I said " ok" hung up the phone and havent talked to her since. But guilt and shame from family makes me think I should give her another chance. However I recently started talking out loud to myself, describing the memories I have, and FUCK that

This is a bit of a journal entry post, I am just very confused as what I should do