Looking for a little support

I'm 25. Currently crashing at my sister's apartment temporarily. Last night we were drinking and she had a friend over.

I had a little too much and apparently I said some things to her which I shouldn't have. Disrespected her. And of course, disappointed her. Worst part is that I don't remember any of it.

She said I was not myself at all but that doesn't change the fact that what I did was completely unacceptable. She said she was scared of me and for me. I'm so traumatized that I'm questioning whether deep down am I really a good person or not. I've always thought of myself a simple, sensitive guy but this incident has left me feeling empty.

This has never happened before but I do have a history of blacking out and losing control of myself in different ways. And I can never seem to find that balance or my limit. I suppose the only thing left for me to do is pull away from alcohol.

I need to prove to myself and people who are close to me that alcohol doesn't define me.

I'm just looking for a little support and possibly some guidance. And for people who've gone through similar experiences: how you did get over this? I would appreciate tips, steps, or any kind of advice I can get. Thanks everyone.