Depression

So the thing that's scary about sobriety is that you constantly have to sit with your own thoughts and contemplate your own mental well being. Years ago I didn't really understand depression, although I think I've always had tendencies.

It's hard because there has never been a time in my adult life where I didn't drink. What's caused by alcohol abuse and what's something underlying worth exploring. All I know now is that I perfectly understand depression. I have both experienced the deep suicidal depression when deep into a bender, and the one I'm feeling now. Emptiness, a lack of feelings. I don't experience joy anymore. I'm not sad, I'm just numb towards almost everything.