Community fans and friends: what do?

I don't think I've ever seen this question discussed so I'm going to try and do it as concisely as possible:

It's not uncommon for content creators to create discord communities so I guess my question is what ground rules do you set? I get fans confused with friends at times and I get issues like members won't look at the content but they want to talk to me personally. An odd problem I've never had before.

I've both witnessed and made bad mistakes myself. My closest thing to a community started as a Skype group, then moving to discord it was like watching it all transform into being like an open all hours bar!

I got accused of the group turning to a fan club for me when the truth was that happened only because I was the only one doing anything productive and that was drawing people in.

I've learned some things like I have a group for friends and an ACTUAL fanclub server now for lack of a better word. I don't let just anybody in and I don't lurk in voice chats all day anymore (trust me it's almost never productive when you do that). So yes, I'm curious what other wisdom people have gathered from running servers.