Hot Mess Toddler Ringlets

My daughter is 3 and has the potential to have SUCH gorgeous ringlets. I don’t know her curl type (I’m told she just has wavy hair despite natural ringlets?) and I have the straightest hair ever and my husband didn’t take care of his curls and now he has a lack of hair on top of his head (saying the B word got me in trouble 😂)

She’s half Lebanese, so she does have the thick, curly/wavy hair. She’s slowly letting us handle her hair, but we can’t keep the curls for long. A bonnet is a no-go, silk pillowcase didn’t do much, and a diffuser is out of the question for her (too loud/can’t sit that long). Her hair also mats very easy when put in a pony tail.

We use Aunt Jackie’s Coconut Curl Gel, Cantu leave-in spray and detangler, and Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus shampoo and conditioner. We also brush her hair with a special curl friendly brush only when wet.

What are we doing wrong? How can we make these curls be at their full toddler potential and not a tangly frizzy mess?