the things i’ve learned about people while sitting in a public bathroom stall

i (26f) have been on and off the recovery road for a few years now, currently off. my family is wise to my tricks, but our brains work different, we always find a way.

long story short, i spend a lot of time sitting in grocery store bathrooms drinking the alcohol i just bought, before lyfting home and declaring that i had a great time at my friend’s house.

i’ve spent probably upwards of 40 hours this year combined sitting in this very toilet stall, drinking my $8 rail vodka, just listening to the other people who come in and out. here’s a non-comprehensive list of things i’ve learned about women/people in general:

  1. apparently we do not wash our hands as often as we like to say we do.
  2. literally nobody fucks with seat covers, its bare booties on the seat
  3. this is a great place to cry and i’m not the only woman in this city that’s figured that out
  4. i hear people watching a LOT of fucking fight videos in here while they do their business. like more than anything else
  5. Flush rate is falling below 60%, do better ladies
  6. if a girl is spilling some tea or shit talking someone on the phone, she’ll usually go in the handicap stall and talk quietly like it’s not still echoing
  7. and finally, the one i just heard, “it smells like cleaner in here” (that would be my vodka… time to go!)