Can’t say, “they/ them” BS

I’m annoyed. I have 3 transgender kiddos and my BFF has been in their lives for almost 10 years. My oldest and “bonus child” are both M2F. My youngest has started taking T. They have decided they don’t feel male or female, so F to they/ them.

Yesterday at dinner my friend brings up that she can’t say They/ them. She was taught proper grammar and “they/them is more than one person. I told her she was full of it and she is choosing not to. She claims she can’t because of how she was raised. So I said I was raised by a mysoginist, racist, homophobic, but I managed to change, so can she. After a little back and forth I told her she can only use my kid’s name then, and we won’t be taking about them anymore in conversation. I know she cares about me kids and I said that if anything happened to me she would be there to help them, just as I would for her son, however it still ticked me off! Ok, rant done.