Does missing the idea ever leave?

Does missing the idea you had of your child leave? I’m not new I’m not against them transitioning. I’m just sad sometimes. Sad about the idea I had of them. Sad I might not support them enough. Sad that they’ll constantly be In Danger sad that he has to go through hormone blockers and cut off parts of their body, what if they are still unhappy after it all? What if they’re in more pain. It just catches up to me sometimes