i really don't understand functions

studied functions and integrals in high school, hated my life and almost failed. Now struggling with them more than ever at a maths course in college. I never could wrap my head around the concept or the terms/signs used and my own father who is math professor couldn't help me out. I don't want to give up but it's at the point where I find myself crying at a homework question from frustration. is there any course or youtube channel that can benefit me. I'm really desperate here

edit: truly thank you everyone for the recommendations and tips, my biggest issue with functions/integrals especially in more advanced maths at college is my inability to visualize the concept. the basic f(x) represented by a graph is fine but the more i learn the less I understand. Really appreciate all the replies