Newly diagnosed, just feeling so guilty

I shouldn't have waited until my six month check up. I shouldn't have let my lymph get so big. But I'm "so young" it was hard enough to get the six months appointment, who's to say if I could've gotten a six week appointment. Now I might just lose it all and my husband doesn't deserve this. Triple negative, 29yo, lymphatic involvement, being tested for brca. Yee gods and my job just offered me a promotion. I've never felt so lost or out of control.