I’m so done. Does this make me a jerk?

Maybe just a frustration rant: My wife of 20 years is currently about two weeks from death (so they say) and I’m done. She’s had a glio since 2020 and three months ago it progressed to Leptomeningeal Disease. I’ve watched her go from completely independent to becoming a shell of her former self in three months. She’s totally bedridden at home and can barely say two words and we have hospice coming to the house a couple times a week. I’m stressed to the max. We have all these newer prescriptions and I’m the one who has to watch her to make the decisions on when to start using them. I know hospice is “here” to help but they’re not actually here, know what I mean, I am. My MIL is actually here to help too but I have to leave in less than a week to go back to work as I’ve blown through all my FMLA days, and I’m not sure she can handle making decisions on what to do in the bad moments. This has been a hard three months and I’ve made my peace with what’s getting ready to happen, but I feel like “life” is torturing me by dragging this out. I had to explain to my wife four different times what’s going to her on a month ago because she kept forgetting why she couldn’t walk anymore, and every time I did it hurt even more than the time before. Now it seems she barely remembers me let alone what’s going on. How the hell do people deal with the hospice weeks? I originally looked into hospice houses but went with home hospice because every one was saying how amazing it is for me to give her comfort in her own home and I’m doing a good job. I’m tired of hearing that. And to add to things my MIL who can’t deal with what’s going on in her head keeps saying “she says she’s hungry!” when she can’t even say the word cookie. She rush into the kitchen to grab some yogurt or something “before she falls back asleep!”… I’ve had hospice people tell me if she isnt asking for food then don’t try to give her any. My brain is being pulled in so many directions right now in how I should think, and all I wanna do is try to get back to a slightly normal life where I can try to put pieces back together. So in short, I’m just done. Anyone else dealing with a loved one having Leptomeningeal Disease? Anyone know if the end of life is different for Lepto vs from just the glio?