whole

everyone talks about “the hole”.

The tiny hole you feel when you’re sad

the gaping hole when you’re heartbroken

the empty hole when you’re lonely

No one ever talks about the hole and

how it changes

how it shrinks

how it grows

but how about when it keeps growing?

What am I supposed to do when everything happens

all at once

when it’s too much

too fast

too hard what am i supposed to do when that hole starts stretching past my crippling ribs

corrupting my insides

what i’m i supposed to do when it starts bleeding into my limbs

when they fall off

when i’m just a head

and what am i supposed to do

to say

to think

when my head is just shrinking into that hole

do i have time to think?

did i spend my consciousness being a person of good character?

or am i never going to know the person i could’ve been because the hole didn’t even give me a chance

why did the hole grow so fast?

did it?

what if it’s hasn’t,

if it didn’t

What If

what if my head hasn’t shrunk

my limbs didn’t bleed

my ribs didn’t cripple

i still don’t feel whole.

dashes are to indicate paragraph break; reddit hates poetry 😒