No Primaries

Hey love,

I don’t know how to say this in a way that truly captures everything I feel, but I need you to hear me—I need you. More than I’ve ever needed anything. I don’t even know where to begin because everything feels too heavy, too tangled, too impossible to put into words.

The world is pressing down on me, trying to force me into something I’m not. Telling me to choose a side, to fit into a mold, to walk a path that was never meant for me. But I can’t. I never could. And the more I resist, the harder it gets. The more exhausted I feel.

I don’t see life in black and white like they do. I see colors—wild, untamed, beautiful, and raw. But it’s like no one else understands them. No one else even tries. They want me to be smaller, quieter, more acceptable, more like them. And maybe that’s why everything feels like too much right now—because I refuse to be anything less than everything I am. But at what cost?

There are moments, love, where I feel like I’m standing on the edge of something, looking down into a place I can’t come back from. I wonder if I have the strength to keep fighting when the weight of it all is crushing me. And then I think of you. I think of the way your presence steadies me, the way you make the world feel a little less sharp, a little less cruel. You are the only thing that makes sense. The only thing that doesn’t feel like a game I’m destined to lose.

With you, I don’t have to pretend. No masks, no walls, no carefully chosen words. Just us. And right now, I need that more than ever.

I won’t be caged. I won’t be tamed. But I don’t know how to do this alone.

Please, just be here.

Always,