28 and scared to be Alone... Forever.

Dear redditors,

Throwaway because I'm afraid that someone knows my account and realises that this is how I feel. On the outside , I have the perfect life. Great friends, great family. Sociable. Lost 24 kg this year only. I started losing weight when my ex left , after 7 years. We kinda lost our way and he decided to end things. I loved him and gave him everything. I was happy, and then one day I was miserable, alone and back at my parents house. After that I tried to live. Like , actually live : go to concerts , enjoy time with my friends and family , travel , everything I could imagine. Also , therapy. I met someone from my past that wanted something casual. Somewhere along the way I found out that I was not made for casual, so I decided to stop meeting with him about 3 months ago. We were supposed to meet today for coffee and he just didn't show up , didn't text (I didn't text either , I'd like to have at least some dignity).

All of this is killing me slowly. I miss intimacy. I miss having someone to share the little things in life. The little things that no one usually cares about. I miss going to bed together , making lunch. I miss having someone to hug whenever I want to. I miss having someone who cares. I don't mean that my friends or family don't care but I need something more. And I have no idea where to find it. And it's like a hole inside me that is eating me up every single day. And I don't wanna keep living like this. I wanna be happy. And I have no clue what to do because it feels frivolous to say that I'm unhappy to the bones because I don't have a boyfriend. Even saying this feels pathetic. But unfortunately , that's the truth.

Thanks for reading this !