feeling lost and confused right now

I feel like I don’t belong in this physical world anymore everything feels so weird to me doing basic normal human stuff feels weird to me eating food brushing my teef showering even this cigarette I’m smoking right now feels weird what even is this crap I don’t know what’s going on anymore everything feels so weird and ridiculous to me and I feel so out of place in this world I don’t even know what’s the point of me being here anymore I feel like Opioid drugs and video games are the only things that make me feel happy to be in this world everything else just feels weird and ridiculous to me I feel like me incarnating in this world was a huge messed up mistake and psychedelics don’t help me anymore either that actually makes me feel even more like this cause it puts me temporarily in the spiritual realm and then when I’m dropped back down to Earth all these feelings of not belonging here anymore are amplified by a lot cause I’m missing my home in the spiritual realm and I don’t feel like I belong here in the physical realm anymore and also I have an extreme desire to kiss and smell a pretty girls feet I desperately want to experience what it feels like to kiss and smell a pretty girls feet if I can experience what it feels like to kiss a pretty girls feet some time in the near future I’ll be very happy and fulfilled with myself and feel like my mission is complete. One of my purposes in this life is to kiss and smell a pretty girls feet which I have did before but it was so many years ago and I desperately want to experience what it feels like to kiss and smell a pretty girls feet again and no I would never force myself on a girl to make her let me do that to her I’ll only do it if it’s 100% consensual and I tell her about it first