My (20F) boyfriend (20M) kissed another girl at a party--I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FEEL

A few days ago, my boyfriend confessed that he kissed a girl at a party. He said it was meaningless and apologized over and over again. He admitted he was drunk (and I know he was because I called him that night, and he could barely talk), but he didn’t use it as an excuse. He just said it contributed to the mistake.

The weird part is, I haven’t cried or yelled at him. I just don’t know how to feel. We’re not just a couple, we’re also best friends and partners in everything. We’re in the same college, same class, and work together all the time. It’s one of the things I love most about our relationship. We’re both ambitious, and our values and personalities match in a way I’ve never experienced before.

Does one kiss erase all of that and make him a heartless monster? I feel stuck because he’s genuinely one of the best people I know. I’m not even angry--I’m just confused. Part of me feels like I should break up with him because I don’t want people to give an impression that i have no self-respect, especially since some of his friends know and now it’s college gossip.

I’m also questioning if I really love him since I’m not feeling the jealousy or rage that I think I’m supposed to...i am just disappointed. He’s begging for a chance, and we’re still talking only if necessary because we have to lead a group project together. But I don’t know what to do...