Bought a fleshlight and now regretting!

So today I(20m) ordered a massager/fleshlight some condoms and lube and it all costed me around 1500 rupees on blinkit. I did it because I am alone at home for the next 4 days first time in my life and you guessed it right I am a virgin so from a long time i wanted to try this thing like I am not getting sex but yk lust took over my mind and I got convinced for this experiment idk whyyyy!! I ordered these things and used it twice and now after all the dopamine going down I am poured with so much guilt like I save every penny from my salary like gem and what lust made me do i cannot believe I am such a horrible and petty man fr! I hate myself I am throwing all of these things in the trash right now and the experience was not even comfortable i kept adjusting those things and the smell of flavoured condom almost gave me nausea. I am in so much guilt rn this is an account for this post only. I hate myself!!!!!!!!!!