Being non-binary is so hard, I can't

I don't feel accepted even by broader LGBTQA+ community, let alone by society and State. I feel myself invisible, I don't see myself represented anywhere. When there are some queer representation somewhere it's usually cis gay men, maybe cis lesbians. I don't see anything on what I as non-binary human can rely on, I don't see any source of empowerment for me. I'm scared that we will be left in the past and forgotten. I'm scared that one day someone will say to me "What? There are still people thinking they are non-binary?".

I don't feel myself real. I know that deep inside I'm a vast ocean of gender fluidity and ambiguity, but people (even trans people!) brush it off. And I start doubting myself - maybe cis men and women feel the same?

I feel that I don't qualify to be non-binary. I came to this realisation (that I'm enby) later in life. I'm semi-closeted, I live with my spose and they know that I'm non-binary, but I can't come out to my family or their family. I wish I had friends who would accept me as enby, but I don't have any at all. And I feel that I'll be too afraid to come out to them even if I had any. I'm afraid to be ridiculed.