I'm spiraling

Last time he was elected I went back in the closet. For all the reasons that's not an option this time, not least of which is, I don't want to. I've felt ready to fight and be loudly and authentically myself for most of the last week. Sad and scared moments popped up of course. But I've been okay. I just saw he reenacted the Hyde amendment. Then I saw my state is going for a 15 week abortion ban. I'm AFAB. Even if I wanted to go back in the closet, I still wouldn't be safe. They are trying to take away my identity, my autonomy, and my rights. I'm scared. I'm angry. I'm exhausted. I'm wide awake. I'm numb. It's too much. I hate it here. I just bought a house so I'm not going anywhere. I should be excited (about the house). But I'm terrified.