Cry It Out (11 Weeks Old)

Hi everyone!

I’m a FTM to a little boy. Ever since he was about 8 weeks old- he’s boycotted naps. And I mean all naps in all places. I’ve tried putting him in bed awake but drowsy, awake, contact naps (carrier, wrap, in my arms), swing naps- which actually worked for awhile but stopped working (I know it’s bad but I was desperate and always had my eye on him), white noise and fan, dark room, in my bed (I was with him, awake, following Safe Sleep 7), patting him, rubbing his chest, arms in swaddle, arms out of swaddle, paci, adjusting wake windows (3/4 of an hour, hour, 1.5 hour, 2 hours). I’ve tried it all. He would just scream and scream and scream.

My parents told me to just let him cry it out. But everything I’ve read said to not do that because he has no self-soothe skills they often just cry until they pass out. One day about two weeks ago, I just gave up. He was constantly overtired, screaming for hours on end. No amount of immediate comfort would put him to sleep.

I waited for his sleep cues (rubbing eyes, red eyebrows, yawning), laid him in his bed, dark room, fan and white noise on, offered paci (which he declined), patted his chest for a couple minutes until he started crying. And then I walked away. I set a timer for 5 minutes and just let him scream away. Once that 5 minutes was up, I then went to his bed and offered his paci- which he took- and patted his chest. Fell asleep instantly. His naps doing that only last 30-40 minutes or very rarely last an hour. He doesn’t have any issues at night-goes to bed at 8-830 and wakes up once or twice for food/diaper change. Up for the day at 5 or 6 AM.

Now I have two questions. How can I lengthen his naps? And will doing this hurt our bond or him developmentally?

Currently writing this as he’s refusing his nap even with his 5 minute timer regimen 🥲.