Caregiving to my brother with DMD & his new trach

Hi group! I am a 25 YO F who is seeking support/advice from other tracheostomy users or caregivers. My brother, 23 YO M, was recently hospitalized for severe pneumonia & RSV resulting in his first ever intubation after he went into respiratory distress on Bi-Pap in the ICU due to mucus plugging. This has been downright the hardest and scariest time in his life and our family’s lives. We are so thankful he is here with us today and using a new tracheostomy. He is going to come home from the hospital here in the next 2 weeks & I have never been so scared in my life. I’ve been having panic attacks & crying a lot (hiding it from him and Mom so they aren’t scared). He is weaning from the vent - using 30% O2 and 5.0 Peep then does trach collar trials. Anyways, he has been having what I refer to as “episodes of brief apnea” where he gets secretions built up, coughs a lot, panics, says he can’t breath, his vitals fall, he gets suctioned, we kick on the ventilator, we keep him calm & he’s okay - at least for now at hospital he has been. Is this scary feeling normal for trach users? We suction him (lungs and mouth) before he lays flat or turns every time. We constantly ask if he feels like he needs suction etc. They all happen at the most random times too so it’s so hard to garage. One time he had one when I was suctioning his mouth? It is so freaking scary. In addition, due to his Duchenne MD, he has minimal ROM in hands & cannot lift up his arms. He cannot suction himself if he needs help. If he doesn’t have speaking valve in and someone isn’t watching him 24/7 he won’t be able to alert us he feels like he can’t breathe. I am so scared to bring him home because there is no way we have night shift nursing set up in 2 weeks and no way my Mom and I can function / work without sleep for the rest of our lives.

I just want to know what other families do at home to keep their loved one safe? Or any positive experiences/advice/support groups etc is also greatly appreciated! Thank you so much!