It happened. Baby has passed. I’m literally sitting next to a pregnant woman at the doctor’s office right now. MMC. Again.

I’ve been posting about the slow fetal decline, HCG lowering, slowing heart rate, slowing growth. Had an ultrasound today and baby measured 6w2d (somehow smaller than the last u/s?) and their heart had stopped. Should have been 10w2d.

I don’t want to have to get surgery. I don’t want to wait w my dead baby inside of me. I don’t want to do any of this. I just want to grow my family and have a normal pregnancy experience.

I’m sad. I’m mad. It’s not fair. I am also so blessed in other ways I don’t want to get consumed in this despair.

What should I do? How did you cope?