Med Student + New Parent

hi there,

first time post on reddit. looking for advice for a situation that has come up between myself 26F and my husband 29M. my husband is a second year DO student, and we just recently welcomed our first child at the end of last year.

since my husband started school again for the semester things have been very one sided at home, which is to be expected, i’m on mat leave and he isn’t. however - since we’ve been home (me and baby) we’ve been learning crying cues, how to handle (sort of) meltdowns, diaper changes, etc… while when he comes home at night he gets super overwhelmed and overstimulated to the point where he gets extremely angry.

this behavior is unusual for him, he was never like this before the baby arrived or in the seven years we have been a couple.

i guess my question would be, how do i handle this change? i know he is stressed out from school and the upcoming boards. but his behavior lately has bordered on the scary with his verbal intent to be harmful to our baby (not that i’ve seen him do anything, but he’s mentioned to me how he’s had intrusive thoughts). should i contact his school counselor (she is a LPC from the school who he meets with when he can to go over mental health stuff) or what?

i’m at a loss and honestly i came from a physically abusive household and i am afraid things will take a turn with the man i love if i ignore these signs.

any advice would be appreciated.