Probably petty behaviour but I finally feel like she understands how it feels.

Not really going to beat around the bush with this - I’m (46m) in a sexless marriage with the wife (41f). It’s been 8 months since last time, which was the only time last year. Every time I initiate, she’s either not feeling well or tired and if I try to discuss things any further she literally gets angry and tells me to just go and have a wank which is obviously pretty humiliating and hurtful. We’ve had the deeper conversations over it and I’ve heard/actioned everything she’s come up with up to a few months ago (she said help around the house - I literally do everything other than a few loads of laundry a week now, I’m also the only one who works a paying job); I’ve lost weight, built stuff, bought stuff, romanced etc etc etc but none of it is making a blind bit of difference despite her telling me that it’s what she needs. Anyway; all the major events (Christmas new year, anniversary, birthday) occur between December and January for me……. And she very blatantly made it clear how much our sex lives should improve over at least this period! I made the effort, booked getaways as appropriate and activities/dates etc…… All words on her part! So, I’ve finally admitted defeat! If I have to live in a marriage which is devoid of the love I need, then I figure so does she! She really likes being softly stroked to sleep on her back every night; something that I’ve always found annoying as it means I can’t sleep before her despite needing to be up earlier - no more; same with the little kisses, non sexual touches, hugs etc. It took her a week to come to me feeling hard done by….. I gave her the same harsh lines I’ve heard numerous times “I don’t owe you that treatment” “go do it to yourself” etc. The strop that ensued was epic; every night now I literally get into bed, say goodnight and roll over! I know I probably shouldn’t feel good about it but the thought that she might finally start understanding just how this has all been making me feel makes that difficult. Hopefully this’ll force change, one way or the other as, even if it does lead to divorce, I don’t want to spend my life working and trying to tirelessly please a woman who gives zero fucks about my own needs/happiness.