Poor sexual intimacy

TW sexual abuse

On Saturday night, my partner and I were out on a night out. She was very drunk. I have autism and sometimes struggle with socialising; I have bad social burnout and it’s been bad recently since I live with my partner and have almost no time to myself (especially during the Christmas holidays). I spent much of my time sat down by myself as I was exhausted. I told her exactly how I was feeling.

We came back home at around 3am and I felt horrible. I was making food when she pushed me into the wall and started kissing me. I pushed her off me and looked at her with disgust (not intentionally, I just felt horrible). Then she said she wanted to kiss me again, so forced herself on me again where I pushed her off again. Later that night she said she wanted to have sex and I said no.

The next day in the afternoon she said she was horny so I had to pleasure her. Later on she wanted to have sex, after I told her I was still feeling horrible but she asked a few times until I gave in.

Sometime later I said I felt miserable still and was too afraid to tel her why. She had a go at me and said it wouldn’t make a difference if I was staying elsewhere.