veggies for absolute beginner

Had a pretty rough childhood in the US and ate mostly fast food. Now I’m older, have more money to grocery shop, but now that I’m trying to eat non-fast food, “real” food tastes weird to me. (As it would when you’re used to sweet/fried food.)

I’ve made progress in some respects, but am stuck wrt vegetables. How do I make them taste less like, well…the earth? I want to like lettuce and spinach and broccoli and the rest but it’s hard to choke down. Ways to make them tolerable?

Bonus points if you’ve got tips for asparagus. I’ve had great asparagus before but haven’t been able to recreate at home. She’s my one that got away

Thanks in advance.

EDIT: If you’re rude and use language like “addiction,” “garbage,” etc, I will block. I’m proud I kept myself fed at all.