Anyone else who doesn’t care what the doctors think/write in your files about you anymore?

So many tears and overthinking if the doctors thinks I seemed like a hypochondriac, a maniac, if they thought I was annoying or disturbing them. It’s like something clicked for me recently. I call them over and over and really fight my case much more than in the past now. I’m not too concerned about what’s written or thought about me anymore, because in the end it’s me living with the pain and not them.

I’ve had so many cases prior where doctors have been negligent and I’ve almost discussed with them, because they won’t listen. I always cried for days after because I knew the things they wrote in my files would make it harder for me to get care in the future. So now I’m just like ahh fuck it, they think I’m hysterical anyways, might as well keep calling them and demand they do something at this point. They think less of me no matter what I do.

Can anyone relate? And have you also had that fear about what doctors think or write about you?