Where is God in the midst of my suffering?

I’ve been battling with a painful and chronic disease these last few years called Interstitial Cystitis. Basically it makes me feel like I have a UTI all the time. Sorry if this is TMI but it causes Pain & burning in my urethra, bladder and inside my v@gina. In addition if I have sex with my husband sometimes I get UTI’s right after, and that’s in the rare case that lately I am pain free enough to even feel desire to have sex with him. I’m only 27 and also have dealt with chronic dry eye that’s so bad I use eye drops and eye ointment 20 times a day. (I’m not kidding) Doctors have no answers of course. I can’t afford expensive treatments. I work full time and I’m trying my best. I have been trying to get closer to God. And trying to hear him in the midst of this suffering. I’ve had to completely cut out so many things from my diet. All I did today was take an expensive probiotic/supplement that finally came in the mail that is supposed to help girls who suffer with UTI’s and now I’m in a full blown flare. Feels like there’s a hot curling iron stuck up there. Where is God in the midst of my pain? I was fasting this month and trying to hear from him and had to stop recently due to a UTI I got since I have to take the antibiotics with food.

Where is God? Why does he heal some people of diseases and not others? I fully believe in healing and have tried to ask and receive it so many times. I’ve listened to healing prayer meditation. Videos. I’m desperate. When will healing come? I’m so heartbroken and feel that God has completely abandoned me.