How do you deal with losing a partner?

My partner suddenly became mostly bed bound at the beginning of October, and ive been his sole caretaker ever since (we live across the country from family but have been really fortunate to have some of them fly out to help occasionally).

Im coming to terms with the idea that he is losing some ability to be in a relationship due to his condition. For a month he was unable to have a conversation beyond logistics around eating and using the bathroom. He has gotten a little bit better, but there is still no end in sight and im beginning to grapple with the possibility that he may never fully be able to joke with me or be emotionally there with me even if he is never able to help share the load of the daily tasks of living.

Even on good days it feels like theres a barrier between us. In part, there is my resentment of caregiving and going beyond my energy reserves, but he also just has so little energy it is impossible to connect the way we did before.

I dont know how im going to face taking care of someone i feel like im already losing for the foreseeable future and losing out on my chance of a future. Im 28 and im not sure im willing to give up my life, but it feels cruel to leave someone i still have moments of love with just because he got sick.

I would definitely love any advice anyone has who has gone thru something similar