i’m so scared i’ll never find love again

it’s been about a month and a half since my ex of 5 years and i broke up. i know that’s not really been long enough to be healed, but i’m just so scared.

i’ve tried to get back on the dating scene, just casually and distracting myself. but as a decent looking woman in her mid 20s, it really only feels like men only want me for my body and for convenience. i’ve been trying to pick up my self worth and set boundaries, but everything is just so hard.

don’t get me wrong, it feels nice sometimes to be desirable, but it’s also so draining. hook up culture makes you feel so empty inside. i’m not even ready to full date someone, but it just seems most men are only after one thing. and it feels like if they get it, you’re no longer interesting. you really can tell they don’t care about you at all. i just feel so empty inside.

what if i never find what we had? what if all men will ever want me for is my body? what if i don’t even want to find love if it’s not his? i’m just so scared and so empty inside, everything hurts.

I think for now i’ll have to completely leave the dating scene and focus on myself and heal. I think i jumped in too early and it’s just made my outlook on love worse.