How to get over fear of BLW?

I read soo many different resources prior to my son turning 6 months old and felt like I was so prepared to do BLW. But I totally panicked after giving him a piece of chicken. Nothing even happened, but alarm bells just kept ringing out in my head. I personally had a very scary choking experience (yes choking, not just gagging) and idk if I’m projecting that on to him. Ugh. I am such a foodie myself and want him to just eat what we eat, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to give him actual solid foods. (I mash up or puree things for him and let him feed himself, which he does happily.) I panic every time I think I’m ready to let him try something solid like meat.

Add on top of that, that every resource has different guidance. One says grains are terrible until molars come in, another says they’re great if prepared properly. Or ‘you’re not allowed in this BLW Facebook page because purées aren’t technically BLW even if baby self feeds with a spoon.’ 🙄 Seems like different resources have different methods of safely preparing food shapes for baby too!

I’m a self-described type B person but BLW is bringing out my neuroses 😩 How are you all doing this?!