NC and Doing Alright Until I Saw She's Back With Ex She Cheated On Me With

So I want to say that I'm so grateful for this sub. I've been lurking here for awhile as I've been dealing with my situation and this has just been invaluable. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I hope people on here know how much they mean for people they'll never meet.

I'm recently NC with my pwbpd and to be honest I'm really relieved. This has gone on for years and it was only pretty recently that I understood what I was dealing with. There was a lot of damage in that time. Holy hell was there. I was abused in pretty much every way possible and starting to understand BPD helped me finally extricate myself. I've been in a good place with this NC which has been going for a couple of weeks.

Today I found out that she's gotten back together with her ex (who she cheated on me with and always triangulated me with) and I'm torn up a bit. I knew this would probably happen. Had even tried to prepare myself, but I think the realization hurt in the moment. Now, like it always happens, I'm left looking back and thinking about how many times he popped back up or got mentioned and weird periods of time where things she said didn't make sense or check out and it's becoming clear how much this was going on. It's incredible how manipulative it all is and I'm left playing Keyser Soze with the past. I hate that this is how this works. Hate it. All that lying, manipulation, and how fast she moved on and the whole out of sight out of mind thing is maddening. I know I'm better off, and part of me is grateful, but it is really hard.