Romantic commitment is financial suicide.

I’ve found it hard to find and keep jobs due to my AUHD. I’m in and out of employment. I’m capable, intelligent and hard working but my lack of social skills holds me back. I’m often bullied in my workplace or just end up burnt out and overwhelmed. I have other disabilities unrelated to my neurodivergence that I get government support with.

My partner is also on the spectrum but has excellent social skills. He told me he had a lot of support growing up and worked extremely hard to develop them since he was a teenager. He’s found himself in with lots of friends and a very promising career in software development. He wants us to get married and permanently live together.

At first I was thrilled at the prospect of marrying my soulmate. The horrific reality has dawned on me though that I would lose all benefits and likely become financially dependent on him if I’m not able to develop and sustain a decent & consistent career.

Not only would I be a burden to him & we likely will become much poorer it would make me less able to get support. It would make it harder for me to a eek out a career I can manage if I’m forced into an endless cycle of minimum wage jobs that I keep losing due to my disability.

I’ve been the victim of domestic violence because of my vulnerability in the past and even if it was feasible & realistic to live on his income the thought of having to rely on a man for financial support in times of illness frightens me to death.

Has anyone else found themselves in this position? I’m suffering great anxiety over what I should do.