Boyfriend’s family hates that I’m “too nice”

The one thing I really like about myself is that I think I’m a really kind person. It took me a lot of deconstruction to get where I am today, but I’m very happy to be nice to everyone unless they’re explicitly horrible to me because there is enough meanness in the world imo and I don’t feel the need to contribute to that. But it’s my boyfriend’s family’s least favorite thing about me, other than being too quiet. I have been with him for a year now and they have consistently complained that I need to be more of an a-hole and I’m too nice, and their dogs allegedly walk all over me because I talk to them “too nicely”. I’ve never felt the need to yell or be mean because I just don’t think that fixes anything. But they’re all basically professional bleep-talkers and the “dark humor” type. They make fun of me for being awkward and Asian and get mad that I don’t fire back and call them fat and stupid and other things. It just doesn’t come naturally to me at all. I don’t feel comfortable making fun of your appearance, and I don’t know you well enough to make fun of your personality and behavior, nor do I want to??? They keep saying that the family needs to fix me and turn me into one of them and I know it would make me fit in better, but I just don’t want to and it upsets me that they hate the one part of me that I’m proud of. They are a loving family and good people but it’s just exhausting and I wish I could be myself for once and feel accepted in spite of that.